one of the good ones

so, as i'm sitting in class today, i realized that there are two kinds of conspiracy researchers: good ones and bad ones. 

good ones find out the truth.  and they share it with you. and the truth makes everyone happy, because now you know something true that you didn't know before. good ones also are very good looking, and smell good, and have soft, smooth skin.

 bad ones just say crazy things.  and mostly crazy things they didn't even think of by themselves! they say things to make themselves feel important, not to help the world, even if they say that's why they're doing it. they won't listen to people who tell them the real truth, because crazy-truth is always more "interesting". they always look like this, even if it is on the inside, and not the outside:

anyways, i just wanted you to know i'm one of the good ones. duh.

I think there is a conspiracy out there!

i'm not sure what it is, but if there is something i'm good at, it's discovering conspiracies.

here's how you know there is a conspiracy:

1. do you hear people talking but when you come out they stop? that means it's a secret.  and secrets usually mean conspiracies.

2.  do you ever have a question, and then you ask someone for the answer, and they look at you funny and say, "why do you want to know?" instead of telling you? then it's probably a conspiracy, because they don't want you to find something out.

3.  if you saw it on television, but no one else did, it might be a conspiracy.

4.  if you read about it in a book about conspiracies, then it's probably a conspiracy, because most authors have to do a lot of research and become experts on the stuff they write about.

5.  if you read it on the internet, like this, then it's probably a conspiracy too.  we are experts.